Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
