Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
