forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
