Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize