I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
