Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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