I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
