So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
