I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
