when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
