I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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