How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Randomize
