Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR

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(314): View more from Missouri

I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...

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(916): View more from California

He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics

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(509): View more from Washington

That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.

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(212): View more from New York

Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.

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(757): View more from Virginia

I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon

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(404): View more from Georgia

so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...

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