So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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