CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
