One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
