Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Houston, we have a blender
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
