i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
