I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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