Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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