yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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