if you like me you must not know who I am
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
where does the pee come out of this thing
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
