woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She bit a glass in half.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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