opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
third nipple confirmed
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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