I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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