The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
