And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
