im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
one might say we're banned from that church
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
