Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
my nose is crying tears of wow.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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