Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
