The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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