It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
