Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
