I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
