apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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