As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
