U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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