i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
