He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
