You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
