it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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