It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize