no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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