dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
