Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
