remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
