I'm jealous of your bromance
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
