Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
