My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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