Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
