How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
