and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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