My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
