how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
