We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
