i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
vagina is talking i cant
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Randomize
