and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize