Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
