So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm like, not good at living.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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